Wee Jess

When I was a little girl, I was terrified of dogs. Next door to us at some point lived two large Alsatians, and even now, despite the fact they have long gone, I cannot go past the gate without having to veer far away. I can remember how scary it felt to live next to those dogs, and the memory outlasts the reality of their absence.

Anytime I’ve looked after a child and a dog  has approached I therefore have had to do that thing adults do – make lots of reassuring noises, and calm down every bit of body language that would give away how I once felt. It’s amazing what you will tell a child – no, darling, that doggy is ok, look he looks happy, don’t worry, etc, etc.

Of course now I’m older, the fear has diminished. I prefer cats, because we grew up with a cat as a pet. So at most now I would say, I’m more feline than canine in preference.

At some point in dating my husband it came the time to meet his family. I’ve no doubt both sides were nervous. I knew my boyfriend at the time had in his family both of his parents, three sisters and a small dog. I can remember when I arrived how lovely the dinner was that night, and there was nice china out, and lots of different fruits for pudding. Of course the person to hit it off with is the mum, every time. By the time we’d hit past the pudding and onto teas and coffees, I felt we were bonding well.

My mother in law and I are similar in that we sum up people we meet very quickly. I knew that she would make up her mind in an instant about the lady of her eldest’s choice. As soon as she began an animated story about the birth of her youngest with actions, and we were all crying with laughter I knew that I was in. I was accepted. It’s a trait I’ve enjoyed over the years as being part of the clan – we have spent many times crying with laughter.

Meeting Jess was a highlight of the evening. Jess was a small dog and therefore an easy to cuddle dog. When I sat on the sofa, she snuggled in besides. She had tiny paws. I remember stroking them and thinking she felt more like a cat than a dog. She was obviously the baby of the family and adored by all. Now I’ve met dogs I’ve liked since childhood, but Jess I loved instantly. She felt safe, and she was a darling to spend time with.

She was neat in her features and lovely to look at. And she told me something very important. I think animals sook in the atmosphere around them and reflect the dynamics around them. I’ve seen a cat that was traumatised by the family it lived with. Just spending five minutes with that cat told you plenty – it lived in mayhem.

Jess was warm, friendly, and relaxed and protective. That told me lots about the family I was hoping to become part of. Since then I’ve had many a happy cuddle, and I know she has been a faithful and gentle companion to all my in laws through times of tears of laughter and loss.

The last time I saw Jess she gave JJ a precious gift. She allowed our baby to give her a good pat, and poke, and stayed patient when he snatched her hair in his attempt to explore. He loved watching Jess, and I’m so glad his first experience of a dog is of one that made him stare in delight.

Today we celebrated my husband’s fortieth in style. Afternoon tea at the Hilton. We ate fancy sandwiches and scones and cake, and drank endless tea. Lots of laughing and enjoyment, with plenty photographs to remember the day by.

Afterwards my husband, JJ and I went off to saunter around the shops, whilst the family went back home. Jess has been poorly recently, and sadly, today she took a turn for the worse. The family took her to the vets, so she could rest in peace. There had been an expectation this day would come, but it was still an enormous shock to reach it. We recieved the call when we got home, and our hearts sank at the news.

Later this evening, my husband and I watched ‘Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistlestop Café’. To paraphrase the part where Ruth slips away, and Sipsey is comforting Idgie – a lady knows when it is time to leave.

We reckon Jess was over one hundred in doggy years, and she was most certainly a lady. For all the great memories there are of her, the family are very grateful, but like any wee pal that has to leave, she will be very much missed.

In loving memory of a sweet natured and cuddly dog. I look forward to telling our little boy about a doggy his Mummy really did think was easy to love.